I am a single mom. Growing up in a two-parent household, it was not until very recently I found pride in that title. I did not appreciate my own story. In social and business circles, afraid of the negative connotations, I was hesitant to speak of my daughter's father, then later my daughters' fathers. There was always a veil of shame that hung over me. I often wondered if people saw me as a failure, or less of a woman... less of a mother. The worst part was that, although I was working a full time job, building a meaningful career, going to college part time and successfully raising and providing for two smart, beautiful and sweet daughters, all the while I internalized that which I wondered, and knew, some people thought of me. It depressed and scared me when I only heard stories and expectations of single mothers undoubtedly raising daughters with daddy issues and sons bound for prison.

Rarely were there words of empowerment and encouragement for families like mine. Instead there were of words of judgement and sympathy. At times, it seemed the preference was I stayed in relationships that perhaps were unhealthy and even unsafe in order to avoid the stigma associated with raising two girls on my own; the stigma associated with having “baby daddies.”

However, eventually I began to look less at the stats and more at the many strong single mothers around me. They were not failing. They were not less than. They were fighting against the odds and statistics, and winning! They were raising good children, making sure they had access to everything they needed and when they came across a barrier, the tore it down and kept it moving. I was one of those women! How could I see their worth yet not my own? That is when I realized the importance of highlighting our stories.

Single parenthood may not be the ideal and rarely ever planned, and it comes with challenges like most other situations, but it is not a curse. It is not a prison sentence! It is not a generalizable statistic. I am not YOUR statistic. I am a hell of a mom. I love my daughters and do everything I can so that they grow up to be kind, strong, smart and empowered. I truly believe it is because of them I have come to achieve so much. They are my inspiration. They are my family. I am a single mom!